I buy the Guardian every Saturday. Usually flicking through it (systematically, mind) with a cup of coffee and my weekly hit of T4 is quite pleasurable. I save the weekend magazine supplement until the end – a fun, glossy little read in a reliable and consistent format.
The front cover this week features a well-kept man with his palms on a desk and his office materials laid out so meticulously and at such perfect right angles that I actually feel slightly hot under the collar if I’m perfectly honest. He is a fellow obsessive compulsive. The strap-line reads: “Impossible, perfectionist, 27 seeks very very very tidy woman.” I know what you’re thinking – but when I start to read disgust quickly replaces excitement.
The man who has written this 3-page feature, Jon somebody or other, who from here on I shall refer to as horrid little man, not only places obsessive compulsiveness in a negative light but vows to change and compromise himself in order to find miss right. Apparently his last relationship ended in 2003. So? Cry me a river. Is this a reason to revise your whole belief system and throw your life values down the drain horrid little man?
Horrid little man even goes so far as to ask himself “Can I stop looking for miss right and just work on convincing myself that Miss Not Bad But Smells Funny is actually perfect?” Holy muffins! You don’t catch people chopping and changing their religion everyday do you? I feel ashamed to be affiliated with horrid little man (who, on second thoughts must be a phoney obsessive compulsive because you’d never catch a genuine one suddenly willing to alter their daily patterns.
You’d never catch me talking about my clean, tidy, (if a little scrupulous) habits in APOLOGETIC tones. Neither would I USE my state of mind to entertainment people by laughing at myself by using irony humour. Letting the side down or what horrid little man! I was very much put off my crumpets. Good luck finding Miss Right. Horrid little man with horrid little beard. (REAL Obsessive compulsives shave.)
NB: (Of course, my blog is used SIMPLY to log the noteworthy events that are peppered throughout daily life - it does NOT function as a means of entertainment….alright?)